Dreaming about the Glory... Forgetting about the Gore.

Greetings my fellow Bloggers

I am sorry for my long absence but I have been working hard trying to send as many linguists to Iraq as I can.
The nightmares came back this last week, the questions and the feelings of guilt have come to hunt me early in the morning and when sleeping.
A few nights ago, I was sitting with a very close friend, around a fire and drinking some beers when he said that some feelings of guilt were coming back, “If that mother fucker wouldn’t have picked up the Kalashnikov, I wouldn’t have thrown the grenade.” He killed five people with one grenade because all of them were together. The only thing that I could tell him was that; all the hell we went through has to have a reason…. I told him that the few times I was involved I gave the order to shoot and kill. I never did press the trigger but I gave the order to my soldiers to kill. I remember that very well, I remember recovering the dying bodies, their eyes, their smell, I can still hear their prayers.
Memories live in the present!!!!
I wish I was back in Iraq.
I miss my soldiers and I miss the adrenaline.
I am an Adrenaline Junkie.